 Hannah
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North_Dakota_Wheat
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Jacob
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Monday, July 12, 2004
The Force of Nature on One's Self
I am here now sitting at 3:50 this morning wide awake with an upset stomach that comes when a large load of acid is dumped into its chamber. That acid a reaction to the impending doom that my body feared. That flight or fight response I suppose, but one that I surely have not yet mastered. Let me back up and put you in the context of the moment.
Thump, Thump, Thump... "Dam it, who is that running down the hall way", I grouchily wonder as I peer over to the clock. Its red LCD light telling me that it is only 3:32 in the morning.
BANG!, Now I bolted up from bed and jetted down the hall, realized that neither John or Elizabeth is awake. As I silhouetted the window in my brother's old room the phantom runner thunders down the hall, Thump, Thump, THUMP. Not like the ceaseless thunder from outside, but the closest to a ghostly scamper of feet I have ever experienced, to the point I felt the being's breathing next to me. The hair raises on the back of my neck!
Refocusing my attention on the commotion outside a gale force wind and torrent of rain pounds the trees. It is always hard to see though the reflections of the room's interior with the lights on in the hall way, so I raced down stairs into the patio to examine the sky in the pitch black. Anxiously, I search for a funnel cloud or other peril. "Oh my! is that one to the south! ... No" None yet identified, I remember that my dad had a weather radio in the kitchen. My next fear of hail damaging my new truck.
In a unemotional computer generated voice (or at least fragments assembled by computer) the soothing female voice continues ... "In Jamestown at 3:19 AM weather instruments recorded a severe wind measurements of 65 mph and severe thunder storm moving 65 mph to the east. The Weather Service has issued a weather advisory for Stutsman until 3:45 AM." Well no doubt! Though I have to admit it was reassuring to hear the computer tell me what I already knew. The barn was continuously backlit by the lighting in the sky and ..." What, is that a funnel!" ... No another false alarm. Grabbing my keys I jumped into my truck and ran it down into the Quonset. I had turned off the yard light before I went to bed so that I could watch the stars, so the way back was only illuminated by the reflection of the lighting on the running water in the drive. The whole panoramic view backlit by the lighting and the trees continued to moan in the wind. My own body was telling me of the response our primitive side gets when it thinks I should be cowering in the basement. And it is probably right, as I intellectually processed that I was in fact safe.
Standing on the stoop watching the storm progress off to the east, I am amazed how powerful nature is, even in this rather mild showing! and how reactive my own body is to the circumstances around me. We have no control over nature, and I do not have control over the basic instincts of my body. As quickly as this storm came it was gone, but the storm left me with the feeling that I was an extremely small part of creation.
P.S. I never did figure out who was running down the hall!
I am here now sitting at 3:50 this morning wide awake with an upset stomach that comes when a large load of acid is dumped into its chamber. That acid a reaction to the impending doom that my body feared. That flight or fight response I suppose, but one that I surely have not yet mastered. Let me back up and put you in the context of the moment.
Thump, Thump, Thump... "Dam it, who is that running down the hall way", I grouchily wonder as I peer over to the clock. Its red LCD light telling me that it is only 3:32 in the morning.
BANG!, Now I bolted up from bed and jetted down the hall, realized that neither John or Elizabeth is awake. As I silhouetted the window in my brother's old room the phantom runner thunders down the hall, Thump, Thump, THUMP. Not like the ceaseless thunder from outside, but the closest to a ghostly scamper of feet I have ever experienced, to the point I felt the being's breathing next to me. The hair raises on the back of my neck!
Refocusing my attention on the commotion outside a gale force wind and torrent of rain pounds the trees. It is always hard to see though the reflections of the room's interior with the lights on in the hall way, so I raced down stairs into the patio to examine the sky in the pitch black. Anxiously, I search for a funnel cloud or other peril. "Oh my! is that one to the south! ... No" None yet identified, I remember that my dad had a weather radio in the kitchen. My next fear of hail damaging my new truck.
In a unemotional computer generated voice (or at least fragments assembled by computer) the soothing female voice continues ... "In Jamestown at 3:19 AM weather instruments recorded a severe wind measurements of 65 mph and severe thunder storm moving 65 mph to the east. The Weather Service has issued a weather advisory for Stutsman until 3:45 AM." Well no doubt! Though I have to admit it was reassuring to hear the computer tell me what I already knew. The barn was continuously backlit by the lighting in the sky and ..." What, is that a funnel!" ... No another false alarm. Grabbing my keys I jumped into my truck and ran it down into the Quonset. I had turned off the yard light before I went to bed so that I could watch the stars, so the way back was only illuminated by the reflection of the lighting on the running water in the drive. The whole panoramic view backlit by the lighting and the trees continued to moan in the wind. My own body was telling me of the response our primitive side gets when it thinks I should be cowering in the basement. And it is probably right, as I intellectually processed that I was in fact safe.
Standing on the stoop watching the storm progress off to the east, I am amazed how powerful nature is, even in this rather mild showing! and how reactive my own body is to the circumstances around me. We have no control over nature, and I do not have control over the basic instincts of my body. As quickly as this storm came it was gone, but the storm left me with the feeling that I was an extremely small part of creation.
P.S. I never did figure out who was running down the hall!
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